In one word, this ideal is that you are divine.
In one word, this ideal is that you are divine.
Zen is in. Everything is zenable these days. What is Zen?
“One way to think of zen is this: a total state of focus that incorporates a total togetherness of body and mind. Zen is a way of being. It also is a state of mind.”
Got it? Got Zen? How about this one: “Zen is a Japanese school of Mahayana Buddhism emphasizing the value of meditation and intuition.”
For most of us, Zen is connected to peacefulness, being at ease. For me, it also means I feel “flow”, a state of heightened focus. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi—glad I don’t have to pronounce his name—a positive psychologist, has made flow, happiness, creativity, and fulfillment the focus of his life. He notes that things (including money) can’t really make us happy, instead, the activities that bring about a state of “flow” provide long lasting satisfaction.
When you’re in flow, you forget about time and your surroundings, and perhaps you might forget the daily challenges as well. When one is in flow, everything goes automatically, without thinking, you don’t have to think. You’re thoughtless, yet very aware.
This brings me to Zentangles, a new hype that was recently brought to my attention. Some might call this doodling with pen and ink. I think they are beautiful line drawings of patterns. The people behind this “Zen” product saw a market. They call it a method, and recommend you take classes and one can also become a certified instructor. They even sell stacks of square papers (a “real” Zentangle is made on a square piece of paper).
Doodle art by Faith Georgia (not a Zentangle!)
I think this is utter baloney. Especially when they start talking about Zentomology. As a marketer and bachelor of fine arts, I can appreciate their boldness. Afraid a lot of people will get trapped in this marketing hype. They even went as far as to try to patent it (they were rejected 8 times).
You can’t patent drawing or art! Besides all that, they miss the point of “flow” and the limitlessness of Zen. All I want to say is: you are more creative than 1000 Zentangles, just grab a pen and paper (as small or as big as you want, square, rectangle or triangle) and start with the first line…
Thinking…I thought I had left it behind me, and finally entered the realm of just being and doing. NOT.
I realized my blog does not really have a theme, and thought it should, or does it? Why is it that everybody—including myself—wants to write, post, vlog, present, share, etc? Is this a new era of self-expression?
Are we doing this just because it feels good? Are we doing this because we think we have something really important to say or show? Or is it just because it’s so easy these days? Perhaps it makes us feel a little more significant and famous for a minute or more?
Why do I write this blog? I live a pretty mediocre life as a full-time working, single mom in the suburbs. OK, I’m not an average Joe/Mo, but I do my very best to blend in. Maybe that’s what bothers me?
Maybe it’s time to not blend or bend anymore, and just let it all go the way it flows. It’s amazing how quickly, little rules can take over. For example, I thought my blog posts needed to be long and deep. How about short and sweet?
By the way, that Basque cake with semolina cream, cinnamon-vanilla sauce and ice milk was sweet indeed, yum!
Again, it took me several months to write my next post. Oh well…
The new year just arrived and so much already happened! It all started with the idea that I wanted no resolutions, but instead a theme to practice, my theme is “do”, no more thinking or testing, no more goals, just do! The reason behind my “do” theme is to prevent me from over-thinking, something I do very well and often I think myself out of an idea, either because of doubt or fear of failing or whatever other “reason” I can find.
So, I did.
I filed my own divorce (I was scared to do that for over 5 years), and this week I received the final decree, a new single chapter has started. Next, I tackled creating my new website http://www.moniquedicarlo.com which took me a couple of days with the help of WIX, a really cool web development tool. Of course, this is a work in progress…
Then I had a nice little party to celebrate my 51st birth year. Last year when I turned 50, we were in the middle of a move and I couldn’t really celebrate. In a way, it was a re-celebration, as well as a housewarming party. Multi-generations of amazing women from different countries and backgrounds provided for some very interesting discussions. Brooksie Wells had recently released a new album, and she brought a few CD’s to share. “North East Rising Sun” has some very insightful lyrics, you should check her out!
The next VERY exciting thing is the fact that I bought two tickets for Thailand! We’ll spend the month of July visiting this amazing country. I started a mindmap at MindMeister to plan everything, another great tool I just discovered. I’ll continue to write about this trip and my preparations for it, I already got a lot of ideas of things to see and do. Some accommodations I’ve already booked, which will make the arrival and transition a little easier for my daughter.
Another item on my “do” list is creating a book via Amazon. I explored this a couple of ears ago, but this time, I’m going to get it done! For over 25 years I’ve been taking pictures of windows and I think this makes a nice collection for a coffee table book.
I must confess…I’m addicted to organizing and planning. There, I said it! Now I need to organize a few words around it. As a loyal, addicted organizer I’ll start with making a key word list of items I’d like to write about. Let’s start with describing how organized I am (or not!).
I wish it would apply to anything I could or should organize, but unfortunately it doesn’t work like that. Yes, my clothes closet is somewhat structured (by color). Same with my books, they are catalogued by the color of the cover. Yet, my kitchen drawers are a mess, same with most of my desk drawers, and I have a few piles of paperwork and knick knacks. Some things are just hard to keep organized I guess…
Although they have a different meaning, planning and organizing are two concepts that complement each other. Actually, I think you cannot have one without the other. I wonder why some people (including myself) love organizing and planning, for example, this artist named Ursus Wehrli who takes it to the extreme—with beautiful results I think—adding a new dimension to the meaning of the different parts that make an object or scene. Organization gives meaning to the experience and improves it at the same time. For me, planning and organizing is not only fun to do, it also removes stress, I worry less because I did my homework. I feel I have a little more control over the chaos called life.
Making a list and checking it twice
When it comes to planning and knowledge, you guessed it, I LOVE lists and tables. “Making a list checking it twice”, is my mantra. Shopping lists, to-do lists, itineraries, tracking costs lists, wish list, logs, references (for example, metric conversion)…are there any other lists? Please let me know!
My favorite thing to organize and plan? Travel! There’s so much to figure out and put on lists for a vacation, I usually start months in advance. I just started the organization of a month long trip to Thailand next year, my earliest planning ever, 12 months in advance!
Unfortunately I can’t check flights at the moment, because they are not available yet. However, I was able to figure out which airlines have the best departure and arrival times. I also calculated the average price per mile, and found out that Tuesday is the best day to book an International flight. The cheapest flight days are Tuesday-Thursday. How’s that for a start? Research is a major part of planning, and one of my favorite aspects of organizing anything.
The next best thing: finding places to visit and what to do at the selected destination. No, I don’t get this down to the hour, like an organized group travel package would force upon you. Instead, I just make a wish list of possible fun things to do. Thailand is a huge country with a very diverse landscape. I’ve visited 3 times and just covered a few small areas. The often humid and hot tropical climate does not contribute to actively hopping around from one place to the other.
The first time I got off the plane in Bangkok and left the air-conditioned terminal, a wet, warm blanket wrapped itself around me and I immediately had to cut my pace and our itinerary in half. This time I really want to take my time and not travel too much within the country. I selected three places to visit: the big city of Bangkok, a small town Ayutthaya, and a small island near Bangkok.
Next: a trip to the bookstore and library. One good (Lonely Planet) guide I purchase and the rest I get at the library. The first three times I went to Thailand with friends, this time I travel with my 12 year (will be 13) old daughter, which means I have to look for some teenage activities as well.
We’ll have about 28 days, some shortened by travel. I roughly estimate the time we need for each of the three places, with the beach taking at least two weeks for some extreme unwinding. Tripadvisor is one of my favorite travel websites, not only can I see the trips and tips of my (facebook) friends, I can also find customer ratings and reviews, including pictures.
What to do where? Tripadvisior will show you a huge list and I love the fact I can ask people who just recently visited the place I plan to visit, how it was, how the weather was, how much they paid, etc. We are traveling during the rainy season, so it’s good to know where and when the season starts and flows (it starts in the North of Thailand and moves down, reaching the South near October.
Through Tripadvisor I found a perfect beach (how perfect it actually is I’ll describe in my future Tripadvisor review). It ticks off all the “would like to haves” from my list: Small beach, just a few resorts, no sunbeds and parasols, quiet and peaceful. For the two cities I selected, I gathered information about both lodging and activities. On the beach my accommodation can be pretty simple, since we’ll be on the beach or in the water most of the time. A simple hut/bungalow (comes close to camping) with a fan will suffice.
For both Bangkok and Ayutthaya I selected small hotels with a pool. After lots of walking and biking (in Ayutthaya biking around is a great way to go sightseeing) in the tropical heat, it’s nice to cool down in a pool at the end of the day.
What to bring? Part of my early planning is spreading the budget. There are a lot of things we need before departure, like backpacks and good shoes, waterproof bags, quick drying compact towels, solar lights etc. Buying things now, or when they are on sale will not only save us money, but also take things off the packing list, avoiding last-minute shopping trips and stress. I have a “before-departure” packing list and a “shopping-upon-arrival” list (because I carry my backback with me, I need to keep it light, and many things are much cheaper in Thailand).
Touts, Tuk-Tuk’s & Gems Scams
The other day I read a story from a dad who traveled with his family to Thailand for the first time. In front of their Bangkok hotel the jet lagged family got immediately lured into one of the most described scams in Thailand, the tuk-tuk tour. I felt sorry for them, but I also think it’s extremely stupid to visit a new country and culture without informing yourself properly.
Do as the Romans do
But what if you don’t know what Romans do? You have to find out! Do your homework! Read, ask! It just makes your life so much easier and your travel so much more enjoyable. For the Thai a smile is very important, so perhaps you should practice replacing that serious frown with a happy expression. They love having fun also called “sanuk”. When asked you can respond with “sanuk mak” (it’s lots of fun). Learning a few basic words and sentences, is always appreciated! Here are a few more tips you can easily find in most travel guides: don’t point your feet at people or things, don’t touch their head, don’t raise your voice (Thai are usually mild-mannered and soft-spoken). Do dress properly when entering a temple, say “thank you” and most important of all: do smile a lot!
It looks like my Thai trip is coming along nicely, I have to return to that unorganized red bag now, it is bugging me!
To be continued…
Life seems to be a collection of returns. Return to self mostly, and living seems to be a collection of distractions. Today I re-visited this blog I neglected for months (busy collecting words?) and started with the poem “Inexorable Deities” by Edgar Lee Masters, that re-ignited my wondering around this life and the urge to express myself both through words and images.
In a recent interview with fashion designer Diane von Fürstenberg she was asked about the things she was proudest of. The first part of her answer included her children, but then came some words that really resonated with me at a rather deep level: “I trust myself, I respect myself, I know I am a good girl. I know I can rely on myself. I like my own company. I’m funny. I talk to myself and have a good time.”
I turned her answer into questions for myself: Do I trust myself and know I can rely on myself? Do I respect myself? I know I’am funny and a good girl as well, yet I could add a little more respect and trust. Looking back at the rocky past 5 years I know I can rely on myself…
I have to admit something, I am turning 50 very soon, and maybe that’s why I am reflecting on things. No, not worried, I actually embrace getting older, the “ripening” process feels good. I still have dreams, and maybe I should dare to dream a little bigger perhaps…
“When your mind is stretched by a big idea, it will never return to it’s original shape”. – Thomas Carlyle
Getting to this point in life I see as an opportunity to come even closer to my core and from there I feel I have the perfect vantage point of taking in more of this beautiful realm and share and spread out, sparkling up other souls in need of a little light.
All is well,
Give me strength to endure
The gifts of the Muses,
Daughters of Memory.
When the sky is blue as Minerva’s eyes
Let me stand unshaken;
When the sea sings to the rising sun
Let me be unafraid;
When the meadow lark falls like a meteor
Through the light of afternoon,
An unloosened fountain of rapture,
Keep my heart from spilling
Its vital power;
When at the dawn
The dim souls of crocuses hear the calls
Of waking birds,
Give me to live but master the loveliness.
Keep my eyes unharmed from splendors
Unveiled by you,
And my ears at peace
Filled no less with the music
Of Passion and Pain, growth and change.
But O ye sacred and terrible powers,
Reckless of my mortality,
Strengthen me to behold a face,
To know the spirit of a beloved one
Yet to endure, yet to dare!
Edgar Lee Masters